Tuesday, November 24, 2015

My Golden Tote Fail, Nov 2015

My 1st Golden Tote: F! for Fail

I have been eyeing Golden Tote for a while. By a while, I mean the better part of a year. Their style clothes are pretty young and trendy. My style is not so young and a different bit of trendy. They have lots of boho style. I am not drawn to "boho" anything.
So, I waited until their Fall items to be revealed. I mean, sweaters and dark fall colors. You can't go wrong with those things right? When they previewed their Fall line I was excited. Pretty florals and shiny satin looking holiday stuff! Yes. I'll jump on that! I ordered a Large tote. It's $149 for 5-6 items. 2 items you choose and the other 3 or 4 is a suprise that they choose based on your 'likes'/wishlist/account profile.

It took a good 2 weeks for it to arrive. Which is almost forever in AmazonPrime land. But not too bad in Zulily shopping land ! HAHA!

So here's what I got. And you will be dismayed that I didn't try much on. I only had a day or two to decide if I was going to try to resell these items or send it all back. Much of it didn't fit! Can't take photo of something that doesn't fit over my shoulders! ARG.

My chosen item #1: This beautiful navy floral dress. 

Very holiday. Easily date night. Could even wear to church, party or wedding. (Wedding? I don't know anyone who's getting married haha)

So pretty! But then it arrived...

The pattern looked... askew to me.
Have you ever seen a print where they meant to go over it with another color but it kind of missed the mark and went off to the side? That's what this pattern looks like. Not totally lined up. And for $60, that bothers me. For $15, I'd forgive it. For $20, eh... I'd look the other way. Pattern aside, the failure was in the fit. SO small in the top I couldn't zip it up. Definitely need a size up in this "Frock". (if you want to sell me a dress, don't call it a 'Frock'). And this dress is long! like 1950's retro long. Past my knees. Making me appear short. If it actually fit in the bust, I would have had it hemmed a good few inches.
3 strikes you're out Floral Frock. Despite having chosen this item myself.


Chosen item #2: This pretty metallic polka dot top.

So in this photo, do these dots look gold? I totally thought the polka dots were gold. But alas, they are silver. Whatever- I'm ok with silver instead of gold. Anyway...

Polka dots! So in. Metallic, in! Short sleeve blouse for warm holidays, Win! Fit, perfect! Sigh... this blouse... why did you have to have such poor company? I considered keeping you at the expense of all the other items that didn't work. But I am too rational for that... today. You caught me on the wrong week. Another time I would have actually kept items to sell, but I am busy right now. And... ain't nobody got time for that!! This blouse, too expensive on it's own at $45+ tax & shipping.

Surprise Items

Here are the items that definitely surprised me... in a curled lip and raised eyebrows kind of way.

Surprise #1:
This brown lightweight pocketed cardigan.

Brown... okay. Cardigan...okay. Loose, open knit... eh. Fit.. okay. It's just Okay. I wouldn't buy this if I saw it in a store. And bad news, World's Okayest Cardigan: I already have a very brown cardigan a lot like this!

:( Buh-Bye.

Surprise item #2: 

This teal tab-sleeve top.

 It has potential. I kind of liked this. It was growing on me by the second the longer I looked at it. Then I began trying it on and it was shrinking on me by the second!! SO SMALL! I nearly pulled an Incredible Hulk and ripped the sleeves at the shoulders! And then at each hem when I tried to get it off. :'(

AAAh! It had me in a Nelson neck lock! 
Get away! Get me out of this! ... oh whew. It's off. I'm alive. It miraculously didn't rip.


Surprise item #3: 
This black and pink rose ... dress. Top. Tunic? Thing.

Ok... I could make this work maybe. Then the sleeves showed up. These loose BOHO bell sleeves. Ugggh. Why? They could have been peasant sleeves, gathered at the wrist and I'd have accepted them. But no. You had to go and do this!

And I can't figure out if it's a too-short dress or tunic... And it's too tight in the elastic waist. And will forever need a layering camisole piece beneath.


Surprise item #4: *Gulp
WhAT... IS... THIS?

Ree-Ree-Ree! *Psycho horror movie stabbing sound*
I saw this top on the Golden Tote trading group with captions like "I'm starting to like this" and "I'm actually wearing it a 2nd time". Not 'I love it, I feel great, this is so cute, etc'. 
Oh gosh... they sent it to ME! UGH! Don't they know who I am!?? (just kidding)
But what is IT???
A Breastfeeding Turtleneck Backwards Yoga Sweater? It looks backwards! With this open surplice style at the bottom. It opens all the way up to the shoulder. Is this a breastfeeding thing? The sleeves...The sleeves again! Weird! What color is this? Like space-dye dark pinkish burgundy?

A billion strikes and you're out.
I didn't disgrace my body as well as burn my eyes out by trying it on.

Be gone from my sight.
So, that's the end of my FAIL Tote. Liking 1 out of 6 items is 25%. 

Just kidding. Checking to see if you're paying attention. ... 16%! That is most definitely an 'F'. 

Repeat the course! 

Go Directly to Jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. 
Pack yourself up and see yourself out! 
The front door is over there.

$11.80 to ship back this box of FAIL.
Golden Tote does not have free returns.
But I got $10 off this order for some reason. 
So only $1.80 of risk lost investing in ugly surprise clothes?

Let's adjust the size in the profile, style settings and try again next month?

WAIT. That's not all. Then my RocksBox came same day. And ohhhh *tisk-tisk* more disappointment.
***Photos of items updated shortly***
Really hoping for more sparkle. Give me the sparkles! The rings are sparkley but... uh Hello? They are tarnished!! Did someone wear these for 2 months straight before returning them? Boo Hiss!



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